Hip Hop Faux Pas & Other Musings

If you're like me and you love Hip Hop, you listen intently to lyrics. I hear it all, down to the last syllable. Mostly because lyrics are the truest essence of Hip Hop music. It's the reason why there is a vast difference between a rapper and MC. There are many lyricists out there- some of them I consider truly blessed with their talent. They deserve an open ear and undivided attention- which is what I always give. Once in a while, I catch things that make me giggle or just makes me scratch my head. This Bug has compiled a short list.


1. Knick Knack Patty Wack- EPMD featuring K-Solo : Here's my question. If the Incredible Letterman can S-P-E-L-L so very W-E-L-L, then why does he F-L-Y like a B-R-I-D in the S-K-Y?



2. No Time - Li'l Kim : C'mon now. We all know that Kim just wanted to use the multi-syllabic word "preposterous" in this joint. So much so, that she coined herself the "Rhinoceros of Rap". Oooh...she's tough, yo! Can you say reaching, Boys and Girls?



3. Funky for You - Nice & Smooth : I have to admit that Greg Nice's incorrect reference to Dizzy Gillespie playing the sax did nothing to diminish this classic. FYI: Dizzy played the trumpet. Now, pass me an ice cold glass of wine...



4. Bells of War - Wu Tang : Ghostface starts off his verse with something I am still trying to make sense of to this day. "Stelladora rap breadstick. David Berkowitz. Einstein birthday hit. Now nurture it." Ok, dude just mentioned a snack no one eats anymore, the Son of Sam and a genius and told me to figure it out? But he sprinkles so much snow inside the Optimo that I'm sure he couldn't even tell me what that shit means.



5. Arab Money - Busta Rhymes : By now you've probably heard all the hype about the pronunciation of "Ay-rab" being racist and/or disrespectful. Then it was decided that a version with only the proper pronunciation (Ah-rab) would be played on the radio. I don't really do radio, but every time I hear this song in rotation- it's the original "offensive" version. Who cares? He sure as hell doesn't seem to.


6. Motherless Child - Ghostface Killah : Okay, I know it seemes like I'm picking on Tony Starks, but he gives me so much to work with. His reaction to his man getting shot in the ass and having to shoot his way out of Albee Square Mall still makes me laugh out loud. "Oh Shit! What the F*ck! This shit is HARBUL." He meant horrible for all of ya'll who missed it. Thank God he didn't need a Ambalamps or anything.


7. Get 'Em Girls - Cam'Ron : Come, come now. You didn't think you'd get through this without seeing this dude make the list, did you? He gets "computers putin'." Lawd. Just 'ignant' for no damn reason.

And like Forrest...that's all I have to say about that. There are, of course the countless mispronunciations of high end fashion designers courtesy of Foxy and Kim, but that would be splitting hairs. Just because they can afford it doesn't mean they have to know how to say it. It reminds me of the scene in Showgirls when she shows up wearing a hot black dress.

Zack: Nice dress.
Nomi: Thanks. It's a Ver-sayce.
Zack: It's "Versace".
Nomi: What?
Zack: It's Versace. It's pronounced "Versachee".
Nomi: Oh.
Zack: You have great taste and you look beautiful.



Proof that class is not what you put on your ass. That's all for now. Keep those ears open, People.

Ya'll Gon' Make Him Lose His Mind

(Sigh) Where do I begin? It's 17 days into the new year and DMX is scoffing at the idea of wearing pink prison issued underthings and socks. He finds it "ridiculous". Looking soft should really be the least of his worries. If I were him, I'd be trying to figure out what wrong turn I made that landed me in an Arizona big house. I've seen his most recent interview. He doesn't seem to know where he went wrong, either. It's crazy because I look at him now and he's just plain ole Earl Simmons to me. All of that growling bravado is gone. At this point, he just seems lost and truthfully a little bugged out. He reminds me of the dude from around the way back in the day that could just never get right. You'd hear about him robbing a Blockbuster or something , get locked up, come home and then go right back in for doing something even more foolish. Wash. Rinse. Repeat cycle. Yeah, that guy. It's actually sort of heartbreaking. All I know is that he's the same dude that went to JFK airport to carjack somebody by stating that he was a 'government agent'. C'mon now, DMX may look like a lot of things, but a federal agent of any denomination sure ain't one of 'em. Unlike one of his previous videos, that was no case of mistaken identity. He did it. I can't call it- but it sounded like some real "crackish" behavior to me. So let's Party Up for DMX since he's busy decrying the injustice of having to wear what should be tightie-whities but are now an emasculating shade of Cherry Blossom. I just know he's barking at somebody for that shit. Now would be a good time for Cam'ron to send DMX a kite and let the god know that real dudes can rock the shit outta some pink, Fam! Killah...